I see it in my dreams; I see it first thing in the morning when I wake up and rub the sleep out of my eyes; I see it when I'm looking out the window or standing by the lake looking out over the rippling water to the distant land on the other side. I often find myself staring off into nothingness, thinking about this or that or even nothing at all; and when I close my eyes, it's there. It is a shimmer of sliver, flowing like the Aurora Borealis, always within view whenever I'm looking for it.
During my childhood and teenage years I dealt with some personal setbacks and a lot of confusion, and I would have said that there was no silver back then, but I know now that I would have been wrong. I just didn't see it. Whether it be self-preservation, family, friends or other circumstances, I got through all of it. The saying "Every dark cloud has a silver lining" is true....... at least for me it is.
To me silver represents second chances, positivity, strength, determination, realization, guidance, and hope.
A middle aged woman fell and hit her head in such a way that the result was the need for brain surgery to remove a blood clot. Sure she has endured some physical and mental setbacks, but I don't remember ever seeing my mom as happy and relaxed as she is now and has been pretty much ever sense. The fall and the surgery were horrible things to go through, but there was a beautiful silver lining.
For all the barriers and challenges life has thrown at me there is silver, lining the way through it all. It is there in the love that I share with my family and my friends. It is in the beautiful eyes of my four and half month old niece. Silver is a blessing and it should be a way of life. Even though it may not be an object that we can physically touch, we can sure feel it and hold on to it.
Some of the worlds most tragic events have had rising stars come out of the ashes. A silver lining is found and followed and it can lead to some pretty amazing things. I do not think there will ever be a cure to avoiding the harshness that can fall into our lives, but I do know that if we keep our eyes open there will always be a silver rope pulling us up or a shimmer guiding our path. My eyes opened up to it quite a few years ago and I see it more and more all the time. I see it with my eyes and feel it with my heart.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Overlooked Importance
A few weeks ago I had a bit of a mishap and my finger suffered for it. Without going into too much detail, I injured myself pretty bad and required five stitches. It was my index finger, the tip end, and I was told I needed to keep it elevated and that I should not only avoid using the finger, but the entire hand, if I could.
The injury and the pain that came along with it told me that this was no joke. I understood that keeping it rested and dry and wrapped up, at least until the stitches could be removed, was a necessity. When the nurse’s said “do not use the hand for the next few days,” they meant it. I figured I still had three good fingers and a thumb. But using those appendages meant using the hand and that just aggravated the wound and I wound up going back to the clinic to have my finger looked at and re-wrapped. (So much for what I 'figured' I knew.) After that I made sure to only use the one, uninjured hand, as much as I could. It was frustrating to say the least; though the throbbing and shooting pain that emerged every once and a while kept me in check.
I am a writer; my book(s), my blog, my short stories; I love to write. I am also a two finger keyboard specialist, and you guessed it, those two fingers I use are my index ones. So when I say this put somewhat of a damper on things, I am not kidding. Of course, I could still use one hand with certain chores over the next few days and then slowly make some alterations to re-using my right hand without the one finger, but it hasn’t been easy.
I type a little different and by avoiding the use of something I’ve been used to using for so long, I find myself making more typos than usual. I’ve had to re-think about the way to proceed with certain things; brushing my teeth, opening up a can of food, unlocking the front door with the key, etc…… Part of our lawn requires the use of a push mower and it took me some time to ponder over just how I would pull the cord to start it.
My finger is healing nicely and starting to look somewhat normal again. The feel of it is a different story, and I still cannot really make use of it. The other day I had ‘Rogers in Demand’ hooked up to my television, and a service guy did come out to do it, but when I was required on my own to change a cable, it was so much harder than I would have thought. I would normally use my right hand with my thumb and index finger. I was stumped and it took a while for me to accomplish a task which I would never really have given much thought to before.
Over the course of these last few weeks I have been giving a lot of thought to the things we rely on and never think much about until we lose them. Life has given us so many precious things, big and small. We need to start realizing them all and not take them for granted. There are people who have lost the gifts of seeing a beautiful sunset, or being able to hold a loved ones hand. Could you imagine? Really, could you?
My finger will heal and I’ll be using it again I’m sure, but some injuries don’t heal. That’s why we need to appreciate and understand these gifts; because once we do, we really learn how to move forward and adapt. Understanding disability or loss is what helps give us the power to accomplish things we thought unattainable. Big or small, seen or unseen, all things are important. Nothing should be taken for granted or overlooked.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Overshadow
The definition of someone who has a disability could be: "Someone who works hard to achieve the most amazing results." Fact is, you don't have to be sitting in a wheelchair or dealing with some on going disease to simply become depressed and give up on life.
I have overcome my own barriers in life to achieve success in quite a few arenas and there is a whole lot of proof that tells or shows us that others have too. My mother, who deals with her own disability, has come so far and is doing so well in not only my eyes, but the multiple eyes of others. My mother attends an Aphasia program (a program for people with communication disorders) as well as being a client with the Ontario March of Dimes. Through these two organizations I have met some people who've suffered from stroke, aneurysms, heart attacks, people who live with the aid of a wheelchair or walker; the list can go on. The stories I read and the people I see on television; it is amazing! The things people with a disability can accomplish.
The other day I watched a great movie called Soul Surfer, a story based on the real life events of Bethany Hamilton.; A girl who at the young age of thirteen was attacked by a shark and lost her arm. Her faith and determination were truly inspiring! It was the documentary after the film that really got to me; to hear her own words.
People are capable of so much and it is beautiful to watch them stand tall and overshadow any barriers in life that they run into, to accomplish things. Some of us need to be reminded of this every-so-often, because that term disability, or even the phrase of needing to overcome a barrier(s), can sometimes paint a damaging picture; for others as well in our own minds. The word disability can sound awful, but it can really be a beautiful thing. We just need to learn to focus on the content inside and not just the word.
We all have our own strengths to contribute.
No one is the same, but we are ALL equal.
I have overcome my own barriers in life to achieve success in quite a few arenas and there is a whole lot of proof that tells or shows us that others have too. My mother, who deals with her own disability, has come so far and is doing so well in not only my eyes, but the multiple eyes of others. My mother attends an Aphasia program (a program for people with communication disorders) as well as being a client with the Ontario March of Dimes. Through these two organizations I have met some people who've suffered from stroke, aneurysms, heart attacks, people who live with the aid of a wheelchair or walker; the list can go on. The stories I read and the people I see on television; it is amazing! The things people with a disability can accomplish.
The other day I watched a great movie called Soul Surfer, a story based on the real life events of Bethany Hamilton.; A girl who at the young age of thirteen was attacked by a shark and lost her arm. Her faith and determination were truly inspiring! It was the documentary after the film that really got to me; to hear her own words.
People are capable of so much and it is beautiful to watch them stand tall and overshadow any barriers in life that they run into, to accomplish things. Some of us need to be reminded of this every-so-often, because that term disability, or even the phrase of needing to overcome a barrier(s), can sometimes paint a damaging picture; for others as well in our own minds. The word disability can sound awful, but it can really be a beautiful thing. We just need to learn to focus on the content inside and not just the word.
We all have our own strengths to contribute.
No one is the same, but we are ALL equal.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The Three C's
One of my past jobs included a supervisory position that had me hire, interact and manage staff. Because of various circumstances surrounding me at the time, my job was, you could say, made difficult. But I tried to make things work and I think for the most part did a pretty good job. I had things well organized and planned out, I kept communication lines open to the best of my ability, information on policies and procedures were made available whenever or where ever needed.
Making sure things run smoothly are not just part of my strong work ethic, but an application I apply, or try to apply, to all things in my life. I believe that if you just take the time and think things through before reacting, get all the information needed to take the proper steps, you can avoid any undo-hardships and stress. Problems may, and on the occasion will, still occur, not turning out like you'd hope, but you'll still be breathing.
Anyway, one of the things I did was to create a bulletin board for the main office (a fair sized one) to hold key information on various things, events, news, etc.... Notices could be put up or taken down whenever appropriate. One poster though, on 11 x 14 inch paper and laminated, remained up always. It was there for myself and all staff to look at everyday, a reminder, and a poster I think maybe all of us should mentally carry in our minds...... 'cause it applies to everything. That poster was titled "The Three C's."
The Three C's are Caring, Courtesy and Common Sense.
Every single person I meet for the the first time automatically receives the benefit of the doubt. Call it being naive or whatever you wish, but I see the good, or want to see the good, in all people. However, I am a cautious person, (another great C word) and whether it happens quickly or gradually I come to the conclusion that the Three C's are just not quite there. Because of my optimistic nature though, I do believe the majority of us carry those C's, only they tend to get buried down deep, tucked away, and for some reason they don't often surface, if at all.
I tend to think that there are three things that get in the way of our Three C's. (Curious play on numbers) One of those things would be laziness; Caring for something that you are doing or for someone who may not fully understand can take up a lot of energy. Then there is the fact that everything and everyone seems to be in a rush; almost always. Things need to done, we need to be places, and the need to do it can mean pushing Common Sense out of the way. Most often Common Sense goes hand in hand with a little thing called patience. Finally, the one I like the least but see every so often, is selfishness, it can be pretty easy to only want to do what's needed for for yourself than extend a simple Courtesy to someone else.
As I said above, I believe the Three C's are within us all. And it is in my opinion that if we pushed some of those other things to the side and allowed our C's to re-surface, we might just find that life is a whole lot more comfortable and easier than we realized. Caring, Courtesy and Common Sense; think about it.
Making sure things run smoothly are not just part of my strong work ethic, but an application I apply, or try to apply, to all things in my life. I believe that if you just take the time and think things through before reacting, get all the information needed to take the proper steps, you can avoid any undo-hardships and stress. Problems may, and on the occasion will, still occur, not turning out like you'd hope, but you'll still be breathing.
Anyway, one of the things I did was to create a bulletin board for the main office (a fair sized one) to hold key information on various things, events, news, etc.... Notices could be put up or taken down whenever appropriate. One poster though, on 11 x 14 inch paper and laminated, remained up always. It was there for myself and all staff to look at everyday, a reminder, and a poster I think maybe all of us should mentally carry in our minds...... 'cause it applies to everything. That poster was titled "The Three C's."
The Three C's are Caring, Courtesy and Common Sense.
Every single person I meet for the the first time automatically receives the benefit of the doubt. Call it being naive or whatever you wish, but I see the good, or want to see the good, in all people. However, I am a cautious person, (another great C word) and whether it happens quickly or gradually I come to the conclusion that the Three C's are just not quite there. Because of my optimistic nature though, I do believe the majority of us carry those C's, only they tend to get buried down deep, tucked away, and for some reason they don't often surface, if at all.
I tend to think that there are three things that get in the way of our Three C's. (Curious play on numbers) One of those things would be laziness; Caring for something that you are doing or for someone who may not fully understand can take up a lot of energy. Then there is the fact that everything and everyone seems to be in a rush; almost always. Things need to done, we need to be places, and the need to do it can mean pushing Common Sense out of the way. Most often Common Sense goes hand in hand with a little thing called patience. Finally, the one I like the least but see every so often, is selfishness, it can be pretty easy to only want to do what's needed for for yourself than extend a simple Courtesy to someone else.
As I said above, I believe the Three C's are within us all. And it is in my opinion that if we pushed some of those other things to the side and allowed our C's to re-surface, we might just find that life is a whole lot more comfortable and easier than we realized. Caring, Courtesy and Common Sense; think about it.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Connections
Maybe it is because I've been through so much in my life, but those connections that are made through family and friends, and even the odd acquaintance, along with the little moments that they can produce, truly touch my heart. The simplest of gestures or the highly profound actions, they are the things that allow me to enjoy life.
Let's face it, the days we face, the situations, they can be at times miserable. We come face to face with horrible, shocking and sad realities. It can be hard to go on and see past the darkness. These are the times we have to remember, life is beautiful! We have to be strong and force our way through the quagmire to find that silver lining. Because it is there; in every and all situations. And when I say 'life is beautiful' I'm not just referring to the breathtaking scenery of mother nature, I'm talking about people. Family, friends or strangers can offer the most delicate of flowers when least expected. People can say and/or do the most amazing, sincere, heartfelt things, when they, you or someone else is pinned up against a rock!
I like to think of myself as a strong person. Physically.... maybe, emotionally.... definitely. I've been through some dark times, and I have survived. I will continue to do so. But it is those connections to people, to life, that makes all the difference.
Recently I found myself in a dilemma, I had an accident and was struck with a bit of panic because I didn't want what had happened to me to spill over to my mom and create more worry than necessary. A name popped into my head and I reached out for help. I won't say I was surprised to have received the lending hand, but I was touched by the thoughtfulness that came along with it. This was from a person I had interacted with (briefly) only twice over the last year and a half. It was once a friendship I had sadly thought lost. Whether this friendship is to be rekindled remains a question. But it is the connection, even if small, that is what led to this moment, this thoughtful action. It was this connection that helped me think positively while I got through what I knew I could.
These beautiful connections are all around and can pop up when least expected. We have to keep an eye out for them, really see and except and appreciate them. They are part of the make-up of life. The way I see it, if I allow these connections, big or small, to wash over me, to fill me up, I can get through anything.
Let's face it, the days we face, the situations, they can be at times miserable. We come face to face with horrible, shocking and sad realities. It can be hard to go on and see past the darkness. These are the times we have to remember, life is beautiful! We have to be strong and force our way through the quagmire to find that silver lining. Because it is there; in every and all situations. And when I say 'life is beautiful' I'm not just referring to the breathtaking scenery of mother nature, I'm talking about people. Family, friends or strangers can offer the most delicate of flowers when least expected. People can say and/or do the most amazing, sincere, heartfelt things, when they, you or someone else is pinned up against a rock!
I like to think of myself as a strong person. Physically.... maybe, emotionally.... definitely. I've been through some dark times, and I have survived. I will continue to do so. But it is those connections to people, to life, that makes all the difference.
Recently I found myself in a dilemma, I had an accident and was struck with a bit of panic because I didn't want what had happened to me to spill over to my mom and create more worry than necessary. A name popped into my head and I reached out for help. I won't say I was surprised to have received the lending hand, but I was touched by the thoughtfulness that came along with it. This was from a person I had interacted with (briefly) only twice over the last year and a half. It was once a friendship I had sadly thought lost. Whether this friendship is to be rekindled remains a question. But it is the connection, even if small, that is what led to this moment, this thoughtful action. It was this connection that helped me think positively while I got through what I knew I could.
These beautiful connections are all around and can pop up when least expected. We have to keep an eye out for them, really see and except and appreciate them. They are part of the make-up of life. The way I see it, if I allow these connections, big or small, to wash over me, to fill me up, I can get through anything.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Inching Forward
Even if it is a little baby step, one foot or one toe at a time, I like to keep moving forward. Like the title indicates, it is sometimes, most often actually, slow and somewhat cautiously that I do this. It is seldom that I jump out of the gate full steam ahead, taking risks and throwing caution to the wind; but that is not to say it has never happened. I just tend to prefer things slow, (not turtle slow) but something that I can ease into, something safe, something comfortable.
I have been through a lot in my life and I've learned to relax and enjoy the view, (a quote from my dissertation Breaking Down Barriers and Walking the Path of Accessibility, "For those of us who have come to appreciate a cautious approach to life offer a unique ability for the serene.") but it is also mixed with some of my confusions and misunderstandings and of me being a little scared of what's around the corner. Regardless though, I do move forward.
In the past I have lost friendships, romantic relationships haven't worked out, I've been hurt, I've been looked down on and blamed for things I had nothing to with, I've been left hanging, (receiving no response or feedback to a question or an attempt to make contact; not actually hanging) My hard work ignored and shunned. My stretched out helping hand taken for granted. But, I go on.
I have some great friends and I haven't given up on generating new ones..... same goes for those intimate relationships, work, or whatever else may be the case. Even though sometimes I think people just don't always understand me; that in some way, some how, my learning disability and the illness I encountered comes through and scares people off; or that I act like an idiot and say the wrong thing. Regardless of those few insecurities, I go on. Why? Simply put, because I can. I have a responsibility to continue moving forward...... learning and growing. This responsibility is not only to myself or to my mom who has a disability or to my friends or the fact that I want to be an AWESOME uncle to my new born niece; (though they are all important things) I have a responsibility to life.
I appreciate life and everything about it! I count myself blessed to be here.
I'm sure many of us have been through tough times or currently may still be in one. I'm sure many of us have been let down and hurt; whether physically or emotionally. I'm sure it has been or is hard to go on. But we are not helpless. Maybe if we think of it in terms of responsibility, life and moving on may just become easier. I know that some tasks can become daunting, but for the most part I think the responsibility of taking care of someone or something (a loved one, a child, even a job) become part of the natural flow and we learn to enjoy; even if it is only little moments.
At least that is how I go on. We all can...... Even if it is in inches.
I have been through a lot in my life and I've learned to relax and enjoy the view, (a quote from my dissertation Breaking Down Barriers and Walking the Path of Accessibility, "For those of us who have come to appreciate a cautious approach to life offer a unique ability for the serene.") but it is also mixed with some of my confusions and misunderstandings and of me being a little scared of what's around the corner. Regardless though, I do move forward.
In the past I have lost friendships, romantic relationships haven't worked out, I've been hurt, I've been looked down on and blamed for things I had nothing to with, I've been left hanging, (receiving no response or feedback to a question or an attempt to make contact; not actually hanging) My hard work ignored and shunned. My stretched out helping hand taken for granted. But, I go on.
I have some great friends and I haven't given up on generating new ones..... same goes for those intimate relationships, work, or whatever else may be the case. Even though sometimes I think people just don't always understand me; that in some way, some how, my learning disability and the illness I encountered comes through and scares people off; or that I act like an idiot and say the wrong thing. Regardless of those few insecurities, I go on. Why? Simply put, because I can. I have a responsibility to continue moving forward...... learning and growing. This responsibility is not only to myself or to my mom who has a disability or to my friends or the fact that I want to be an AWESOME uncle to my new born niece; (though they are all important things) I have a responsibility to life.
I appreciate life and everything about it! I count myself blessed to be here.
I'm sure many of us have been through tough times or currently may still be in one. I'm sure many of us have been let down and hurt; whether physically or emotionally. I'm sure it has been or is hard to go on. But we are not helpless. Maybe if we think of it in terms of responsibility, life and moving on may just become easier. I know that some tasks can become daunting, but for the most part I think the responsibility of taking care of someone or something (a loved one, a child, even a job) become part of the natural flow and we learn to enjoy; even if it is only little moments.
At least that is how I go on. We all can...... Even if it is in inches.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
The Written Experience
I have always been a creative person and I've been writing now for years. Articles, short stories, long stories, a novel. I have been published a few times and have one book out, "Chronicles of a Girl"; so I can now say I'm not only a writer but a published author. My road to publishing was a bit of a difficult journey. At first though, it was real easy, in fact, probably too easy. While I got all excited about the idea of my story being published for all to see and enjoy, I forgot about one a key element, (at least for me) "proceed with caution and find the right fit." I acted a little too fast and found myself stuck on a foggy road I was unsure of.
To make a long story short and get to the end result, I made it through and I am happy and proud of the fact that I have a novel with my name on it. And now, from experience, I've taken a little more caution toward publishing my second book. I will publish a second, and maybe even a third, fourth...... it could on; and each time I'm sure that the difficult journey will get easier. Publish or not, I will always write. Writing short or long stories, articles or this blog is in my blood and it is my choice. It is my preferred method of communication and in some ways even socialism.
I am a shy and quiet guy, but as I've written about in this series of blog posts, I am also a guy with a learning disability which has presented me with difficulties in keeping up with the pace of most others, hardships understanding things, confusion, frustration and communication barriers. I have difficulty at times finding words in my head and speaking in the moment. As much as I sometimes think ALL of this technology has gone way too far, and I have trouble understanding it, I am so grateful for it at the same time. It is a step up from using pen and paper and can be a better thing if your talent with the pen ain't so great. (I can be rather messy) In the social aspect to it, email gives me time to think about what I'm writing. I get to pause and reflect and even erase. Most of all, I get to make sure that I make sense and that I'll be understood; because there are times I think I'm not. Sometimes I don't even understand myself.
I like being able to express myself and to share. I have things to say and I think my opinions can be valuable. Writing is my chosen format and I believe it is my strength. We should all play to our strengths; not other peoples expectations.
I started this post off saying that I am a creative person. I like to sit down and create my own worlds and characters. I like giving some of those characters skills that I admire. I like creating dramatic situations and being able to work through without much damage. In the real world it can sometimes get very scary and lonely. No mater what happens in my stories though, my characters will never leave. (Unless I choose for them to) That is something I cannot control in real life, but that is what makes writing such a treasure for me. I get to communicate and do things I have a hard time with in society. I get to learn and understand and grow and that is what helps me enjoy life!
So no matter what difficult road may present itself or the barriers I need to overcome, writing will always be my thing. Whether creatively or socially, it helps me share with others and myself, and I couldn't ask for more than that. Writing is my choice, and it has proven quite an experience. And just as everyone has their own thing, I'm sure that writing still has more to offer me.
To make a long story short and get to the end result, I made it through and I am happy and proud of the fact that I have a novel with my name on it. And now, from experience, I've taken a little more caution toward publishing my second book. I will publish a second, and maybe even a third, fourth...... it could on; and each time I'm sure that the difficult journey will get easier. Publish or not, I will always write. Writing short or long stories, articles or this blog is in my blood and it is my choice. It is my preferred method of communication and in some ways even socialism.
I am a shy and quiet guy, but as I've written about in this series of blog posts, I am also a guy with a learning disability which has presented me with difficulties in keeping up with the pace of most others, hardships understanding things, confusion, frustration and communication barriers. I have difficulty at times finding words in my head and speaking in the moment. As much as I sometimes think ALL of this technology has gone way too far, and I have trouble understanding it, I am so grateful for it at the same time. It is a step up from using pen and paper and can be a better thing if your talent with the pen ain't so great. (I can be rather messy) In the social aspect to it, email gives me time to think about what I'm writing. I get to pause and reflect and even erase. Most of all, I get to make sure that I make sense and that I'll be understood; because there are times I think I'm not. Sometimes I don't even understand myself.
I like being able to express myself and to share. I have things to say and I think my opinions can be valuable. Writing is my chosen format and I believe it is my strength. We should all play to our strengths; not other peoples expectations.
I started this post off saying that I am a creative person. I like to sit down and create my own worlds and characters. I like giving some of those characters skills that I admire. I like creating dramatic situations and being able to work through without much damage. In the real world it can sometimes get very scary and lonely. No mater what happens in my stories though, my characters will never leave. (Unless I choose for them to) That is something I cannot control in real life, but that is what makes writing such a treasure for me. I get to communicate and do things I have a hard time with in society. I get to learn and understand and grow and that is what helps me enjoy life!
So no matter what difficult road may present itself or the barriers I need to overcome, writing will always be my thing. Whether creatively or socially, it helps me share with others and myself, and I couldn't ask for more than that. Writing is my choice, and it has proven quite an experience. And just as everyone has their own thing, I'm sure that writing still has more to offer me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)