"You don't have to be a creative soul to want inspiration;
all souls should have it."
It was a gloomy day; mildly warm and drizzling on and off. I had decided to clean house, starting with the book self in our family room that held precious photo albums. I had loaded the CD player with discs, including Avril's that I had yet to listen to.
To make a long story short, I ended up sitting on the couch looking at pictures, taking a trip down memory lane. Certain photos lead me to other memorable objects that I dragged out into the family room, one of which was a scrap book of all the "Get Well" cards and other things that I had obtained when I had been hospitalized. Inside of that scrap book I also kept the diagnosis report that I had obtained just a few years earlier; a report regarding my brain injury. It still blows my mind a little that I never got "officially" diagnosed until my thirties from an illness and brain injury I sustained when I was six.
Anyway, reading all of these cards along with my somewhat dismal diagnosis, depression started to set in. But then it happened, a new CD clicked on and song track number one began. "Take Me Away" by Avril Lavigne.
I cannot find a way to describe it; It's there inside; all I do is hide; I wish that it would just go away; What would you do, you do, if you knew? What would you do?
Chorus: All the pain I thought I knew; All the thoughts lead back to you; Back to what was never said; Back and forth inside my head; I can't handle this confusion; I'm unable; come and take me away.
I feel like I am all alone; All by myself, I need to get around this; My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you; If I show you, I don't think you'd understand; Cause no one understands
All the pain I thought I knew ........(Repeat Chorus)......... come and take me away.
I'm going nowhere (on and on and on); I'm getting nowhere (on and on and on); Take me away; I'm going nowhere (on and off and off and on); (and off and on)
All the pain I thought I knew........(Repeat Chorus)......... come and take me away.
Take me away; Break me away; Take me away
I hit repeat a few times and I knew that this was my song. I am sure the song was probably written about some relationship break-up or something, but the lyrics were my feelings toward my illness and all the crappy things it brought into my life. So.... maybe not the most uplifting song, but for me it was.
The way she sings, the way I sing it with her, (sometimes at the top of my lungs) empowers me! It helps erase all of those things every time I feel them sneaking up on me. It helps kick my fear in the butt and takes it away.
My heartfelt thanks to Avril.
Years later I find Avril doing it again with another song, "Alice." A song to lift your head high and march forward to.
I've often felt lost in life, in a different world to others; in a wonderland. I'm sure that, for different reasons, or perhaps similar ones to mine, others have felt lost as well. My interpretation of this song: No matter how lost WE may feel, WE can always get back to life, to wherever we feel most comfortable
Trippin out, Spinning around. I'm underground, I fell down. Yeah I fell down
I'm freaking out, where am I now? Upside down and I can't stop it now. Can't stop me now, oh oh
Chorus: I, I'll get by. I, I'll survive. When the world's crashing down. When I fall and hit the ground. I will turn myself around. Don't you try to stop me. I, I won't cry
I found myself in Wonderland. Get back on my feet, on ground again. Is this real? Is this pretend? I'll take a stand until the end
I, I'll get by. ....... (Repeat Chorus) ............ I, I won't cry
I, I'll get by. ....... (Repeat Chorus) ............ I, I won't cry
Avril has also set up her own Foundation, The Avril Lavigne Foundation. R.O.C.K.S = Respect, Opportunity, Choices, Knowledge, Strength. It has been created in support of children and youth living with serious illnesses and disabilities.
So, if you're reading this, you may be wondering at this time, why is Mark sharing this inspirational crush? Well, it is because my life has been, and still is to this day, (though much improved) full of ups and downs. I'm not the smartest guy in the world, I have a handful of barriers and challenges to face. But there is one thing I have come to learn and I can see clearly. Having "Inspiration" in life is so important.
You don't have to try that hard to find it, just open your eyes and open your mind. In some cases, it will come to you. When it does, hold on to it. And if it feels right, don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
Even without the challenges of a disability, life can be difficult. There are so many awful things in this world; and there are, sadly, people who seem to live to bring others down. And bringing someone down is unfortunately so much easier than building them up; or even keeping them level sometimes.
The human spirit is strong and can accomplish great things. Things sometimes we don't even think to ourselves that we can accomplish. But a little Inspiration to help guide us and fill our souls, can make the accomplishment of life so much more rewarding.