Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Mirror

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" But it is not Snow White's wicked queen saying this, it is me.

Almost every morning when I wake up, weekday or weekend, I drag myself out of bed into the bathroom to gaze upon my reflection in the framed rectangle glass that hangs on the wall above my sink. It is a cabinet I had to move up a few inches for my tall six foot five inch self to be able to properly look into as this bathroom was not always mine and therefore not everything was originally installed for a guy like me.

More often than not I don't see a smile beaming back at me but instead tired eyes that scream a combination of "what's the point?" and "go back to bed!" But instead I ignore those words and look at the crevices and shadows and lines and I think about all of the struggles, challenges, accomplishments and victories I've had. I see all of those tears, the ones I shared and the ones I kept to myself. I see all of the laughter and feel good moments, again, the ones I shared and those I kept to myself. The mirror shows me scars and rejuvenation. My battles are, and have been, so different, but maybe a little similar, to what others go through. The mirror shows me that I am not alone.
I exam the shape of my nose and go over the outline of my mouth, down to my chin, around my ears, and up to my shaved head. "Not a bad looking dude; why am I single?" And I remember my choices and my experiences. Good and bad, it was all worth it I think. And I can handle the hurtles that lay ahead. I can face the challenges, like I always have, head on. Okay, maybe a little hesitation and thoughts of running for cover. But I would always move forward, for better or worse, regardless of inner whining.

The mirror shows me strength and opportunity.
The mirror helps me see and remember the blessings of loved ones.
The mirror offers reflections of guidance and wisdom.
It shows me pain and cruelty and how to face that fear.
The mirror me understand.

But what now? Go get dressed and brush my teeth and move forward. That is when I realize that I know the answer, well, I think I do anyway. The answer to the question "mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" It is me; it is you; it is all of us;.... at least if we want it to be. Because it is my choice. This is when my reflection begins to slightly offer a smile in return, and I can continue through the day.