So a little over three weeks ago we brought in a New Year, 2015, and a tradition that most people follow is that of making a resolution. Why?
I read somewhere that like 90% of New Year resolutions fail. So again, why?
I think that making a conscience decision to make a change, whatever that may be, to improve ones life is great! Moving forward, learning, changing, getting better, getting healthier, these things and more are all a part of life. Resolving to do these things can happen at any given time; so why December 31st/January 1st?
It is pressure. It's a new calendar year being changed so I guess people feel that they must change with it.
I used to make my New Years resolution along with family and friends, it was just what we all did. Soon it became kind of just became a gimmick, and then I stopped. I came to the conclusion that change, in any fashion, is a very personal thing. Trying something new, setting a goal and making improvement is very commendable but can involve struggles and challenges; and when made at the wrong time can also be unrealistic and perhaps a bit too ambitious.
New Year's eve and day are a great time to celebrate and/or relax, not a time to make life altering goals that you may be unsure about and are saying for the sake of... well, tradition. Whether it is a big or small or somewhere in between, change or improvement can really only happen when you are ready and when you know that you can get support when needed. There is nothing wrong with a little help because most often we cannot accomplish a whole lot completely on our own, anyone who thinks or says otherwise is fooling only themselves... well, maybe others. And that is the pressure that comes with the New Years resolution, that it needs to be done all on ones own because all eyes are watching.
Make your changes when you are ready and prepared, and know that mistakes can and are allowed to happen. Don't set out your goals according to the change of the calendar.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
The NaNoWriMo Experience
No, this had nothing to do with Mork from Ork, but rather something any human being with the propensity to write can have.
I have never taken this trip before in challenging myself to participate in National Novel Writing Month where one is asked to take up the deed of writing out 50,000 words from November 1st all the way to the end of the month. Technically, a novel is 40,000 words or more, so if you complete the month that could be it, though there are people who say that you need to hit 60K for it to be considered a novel and 40K is a novella..... opinions differ on this and the whole thing is a bit of a grey area.
Regardless, there is no BIG monetary prize or anything for any winners, it is all in the spirit of writing and fun. But the spirit was not what moved me to enter this year, it was more of a personal reason. I've had a bit of a rough 2014 and while I did continue to write for certain blogs that do I stopped with a few other things, like this blog, and more importantly, I wasn't working on the book I kept playing over in my mind. So I used NaNoWriMo to kick start my story telling.
The challenge worked in that regard, I began writing, but I did not get to the 50K mark. Honestly, I kind of felt a little pressure in not completing enough words per day. Even though I know this was not the idea, it was hard for me. My brain does work well under pressure.... and that kind of relates actually to what I am working on, which I have titled Challenging Barriers and Walking the Path.
I am working on it and will have it ready for release (I am hoping) for early Spring 2015. As for next years challenge, I may pass I may not. Depends if I get a writer's block. I know about challenges, I've experienced different one's my entire life, they are not easy; but most do allow you a fairly valuable lesson. Challenges make life interesting and keep things moving. We learn and we grow.... I have.
I have never taken this trip before in challenging myself to participate in National Novel Writing Month where one is asked to take up the deed of writing out 50,000 words from November 1st all the way to the end of the month. Technically, a novel is 40,000 words or more, so if you complete the month that could be it, though there are people who say that you need to hit 60K for it to be considered a novel and 40K is a novella..... opinions differ on this and the whole thing is a bit of a grey area.
Regardless, there is no BIG monetary prize or anything for any winners, it is all in the spirit of writing and fun. But the spirit was not what moved me to enter this year, it was more of a personal reason. I've had a bit of a rough 2014 and while I did continue to write for certain blogs that do I stopped with a few other things, like this blog, and more importantly, I wasn't working on the book I kept playing over in my mind. So I used NaNoWriMo to kick start my story telling.
The challenge worked in that regard, I began writing, but I did not get to the 50K mark. Honestly, I kind of felt a little pressure in not completing enough words per day. Even though I know this was not the idea, it was hard for me. My brain does work well under pressure.... and that kind of relates actually to what I am working on, which I have titled Challenging Barriers and Walking the Path.
I am working on it and will have it ready for release (I am hoping) for early Spring 2015. As for next years challenge, I may pass I may not. Depends if I get a writer's block. I know about challenges, I've experienced different one's my entire life, they are not easy; but most do allow you a fairly valuable lesson. Challenges make life interesting and keep things moving. We learn and we grow.... I have.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Balancing Busy
So I recently obtained a new job and things have been going
real good, a little busy, but good. After quite a bit of time away from the bloggershere and the
workplace, (something that was beyond my control) after dealing with some
emotional and physical health issues, after dealing with some personal and
individual stresses, I am more than happy to be dealing with a little busy. I’ve come to
realize that what I need most is a balance, not too busy but just enough. (And
really, who doesn’t want this?)
When I am at work, volunteering, writing, even
working around the house, I have a flow that keeps me going well enough to
benefit myself and others. But if I am not paying attention and not too careful
and I overstep, I can become overwhelmed and things can begin to spiral.
Life is full of challenges, some have more than others, and some
of those can be worse and flutter up and down. Because of this there is
something else that I have realized more than this needed balance thing,
(though I suppose it is another form of balance) is that while I cannot ignore
my health and other challenges, I cannot ignore my work; I cannot ignore my
busy. While I need to remember to keep my (MY) pace and keep my (MY) style of
organization and to keep my doctor’s appointments and continue seeing my social
worker, I need to also remember to keep working and all of those other things
that I mentioned, because I am good at them. I am good at being a
Communications and Administration Coordinator, I am good at Mentoring and being
an Advocate, I am good at being a writer.
We all have our ups and downs, and I truly understand that
there are some downs worse than mine, but if I can get back up, I don’t see why
anyone else can’t; or at least can’t try. Limitations may present themselves,
but I really do think that with the right attitude, they can be made livable. I
suppose creating a busy balance is all about perspective and it is gained only
through life’s experience. We learn more and more as we go and grow. I don’t
think reading one awesomely written blog post is going to change things…. but
then again… livable, balance, perspective… one step at a time. Then we can all keep and maintain a proper, well balanced, busy.
Friday, August 15, 2014
The Faces of Angels
I recall a time back in October of the year 2000, when I saw an angel on a TTC bus in Toronto. Now granted it was Halloween and she was with a few others that were in costume, but still.
I was working down in the city at this time and staying with my sister in an apartment near Eglinton and Avenue Road. Coming home from work late that night I got off of the Yonge subway and jumped onto the connecting bus. A few stops up was when my angel boarded. She took no notice of me and I did not approach. My stop came before hers and I slowly got off to watch her and our motorized carriage leave.
Even though quite some time has past since then, I will not forget. I cannot forget. She was so beautiful and perfect!
That angelic costume is what first grabbed my attention, but I am almost certain her flawless good looks alone would have done the same. Her hair, that olive skin, those brilliant eyes; from top to bottom she was the ideal package. Aside from any attraction this gorgeous being may have sparked within, her image also left me with another feeling, one of hope, and from that a smile grew on my lips and in my heart. That distant, unspoken encounter made me realize the serenity that life can be.
Plenty of darkness fills our lives and over time I have come to realize, and I need to continually remind myself every so often, that the occasion of Halloween is not needed to encounter the face of an angel. They are around if you slow down a bit to look and feel.
Even before the above mentioned event occurred, years earlier when I was thirteen, my father passed away. I felt as if my life had lost an integral piece that kept it all together as things began spinning out of control. But I have come to understand that if I stop for a moment and close my eyes while taking a breath, the feeling of love and security he offered then, is still with me now.
And Currently I am blessed to be living with two angels. my three year old niece and seven month year old nephew.
Times are tough and waves of depression are felt, no matter the disguise I try to use to mask it. But there is no need to hide from the feeling I get when looking at them; the feeling of hope; the feeling of serenity.
Angels are among us and do roam this earth..... whether it is through a feeling or if it is discovered through the loud sounds of gigglng or singing "wheels on the bus."
I was working down in the city at this time and staying with my sister in an apartment near Eglinton and Avenue Road. Coming home from work late that night I got off of the Yonge subway and jumped onto the connecting bus. A few stops up was when my angel boarded. She took no notice of me and I did not approach. My stop came before hers and I slowly got off to watch her and our motorized carriage leave.
Even though quite some time has past since then, I will not forget. I cannot forget. She was so beautiful and perfect!
That angelic costume is what first grabbed my attention, but I am almost certain her flawless good looks alone would have done the same. Her hair, that olive skin, those brilliant eyes; from top to bottom she was the ideal package. Aside from any attraction this gorgeous being may have sparked within, her image also left me with another feeling, one of hope, and from that a smile grew on my lips and in my heart. That distant, unspoken encounter made me realize the serenity that life can be.
Plenty of darkness fills our lives and over time I have come to realize, and I need to continually remind myself every so often, that the occasion of Halloween is not needed to encounter the face of an angel. They are around if you slow down a bit to look and feel.Even before the above mentioned event occurred, years earlier when I was thirteen, my father passed away. I felt as if my life had lost an integral piece that kept it all together as things began spinning out of control. But I have come to understand that if I stop for a moment and close my eyes while taking a breath, the feeling of love and security he offered then, is still with me now.
And Currently I am blessed to be living with two angels. my three year old niece and seven month year old nephew.
Times are tough and waves of depression are felt, no matter the disguise I try to use to mask it. But there is no need to hide from the feeling I get when looking at them; the feeling of hope; the feeling of serenity.
Angels are among us and do roam this earth..... whether it is through a feeling or if it is discovered through the loud sounds of gigglng or singing "wheels on the bus."
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Balancing Busy
"Keeping busy is good for you"; "a busy mind is a happy mind"; "staying busy keeps you from getting into trouble". That's what I have heard anyway; but are these statements correct? Whether it is volunteering, working overtime at your job or even indulging in those creative hobbies, being busy can become too much and too overwhelming if you are not careful.
I used to think that keeping my schedule busy and doing more, working more, volunteering more, was a good thing. Turns out, it wasn't so great for me.
Doing more than one thing, wearing multiple hats so to speak, is at certain times a necessity in life, and being productive and active can be healthy even, but you have to be able to find that fine line that keeps you balanced. Balancing work to life is important. Taking the time to relax, taking a breather and kicking back is a critical part life.
People sometimes like to keep busy so that they don't have to 'think' about certain things, but thinking and working out issues and being able to 'let it go', is something that the mind and body needs. Not doing this can be unhealthy and lead to burn out.
Finding that balance on our own can be hard to do. We all need a little help; there is nothing wrong with that. We need to turn "keeping busy" into "keeping okay". But there is the trick, finding the right kind of busy and then knowing how much one can handle without feeling overwhelmed. When it rains it pours, and it seems that it is either too much or not enough.
There have been times in my life where I think I have gotten there and found that balance, but when I start going off track I can't quite remember the recipe on how I got to my 'okay' place to begin with. (Maybe it was just blind luck that got me there.) I'm learning though that it is okay to hit the re-set button on ones life and take stock of what is really necessary to be 'okay'. Unfortunately, life doesn't slow down when you do this.
I used to think that keeping my schedule busy and doing more, working more, volunteering more, was a good thing. Turns out, it wasn't so great for me.
Doing more than one thing, wearing multiple hats so to speak, is at certain times a necessity in life, and being productive and active can be healthy even, but you have to be able to find that fine line that keeps you balanced. Balancing work to life is important. Taking the time to relax, taking a breather and kicking back is a critical part life.
People sometimes like to keep busy so that they don't have to 'think' about certain things, but thinking and working out issues and being able to 'let it go', is something that the mind and body needs. Not doing this can be unhealthy and lead to burn out.
Finding that balance on our own can be hard to do. We all need a little help; there is nothing wrong with that. We need to turn "keeping busy" into "keeping okay". But there is the trick, finding the right kind of busy and then knowing how much one can handle without feeling overwhelmed. When it rains it pours, and it seems that it is either too much or not enough.
There have been times in my life where I think I have gotten there and found that balance, but when I start going off track I can't quite remember the recipe on how I got to my 'okay' place to begin with. (Maybe it was just blind luck that got me there.) I'm learning though that it is okay to hit the re-set button on ones life and take stock of what is really necessary to be 'okay'. Unfortunately, life doesn't slow down when you do this.
"Beware the barrenness of a busy life." ~ Socrates
Monday, June 23, 2014
The Importance of Artistry
I'm a writer.
The other week I was was invited, along with some of my colleagues at the Writers Community of York Region writing group, to attend the Unionville Festival to showcase some of my work. I choose to bring my stories of Chronicles of a Girl and the Soul Bound series. We were asked there by the Markham Arts Council to help represent the creative community.
It came to my attention that the Markham Arts Council, also known as MAC, are being threatened with closure. MAC is in a tough position as the City of Markham is deliberating whether to continue, reduce or cancel funding all together.
While I support MAC, just as I would any other creative organization, I also understand that there are other things in our society that hold just as much importance. But that is it, "just as much". The arts should not be overshadowed. Their relevance to this world is great; and when I say this I am not just talking about the pretty and colourful pictures on the wall. It goes much deeper than that.
Whether it is literature, theatrical, painting, dance, composing, music, and so many others I cannot even think of right now, the arts are oh so very important. This is a medium that not only supports many jobs and hobbies, it instills family values and creates relative outings and gatherings. The arts promotes culture, contributes to education, adds to an economic need, and helps growth in not just the traditional way, but a therapeutic one as well. I could go into detail about each of these things and rhyme off some detailed fact checking, but instead I will simply tell you my personal story of how the arts has impacted my life.
For as long as I can recall I have always been a creative person. All throughout school my favourite subjects included Art and English Media. I enrolled into a Graphic Design program in college; and even though it took a little longer than I had anticipated, I worked hard and graduated with honors. I was so proud and happy only too have those feelings turn into disappointment and uncertainty. I did not possess the computer skills nor the accuracy required for the way the Graphic Design industry now flourishes.
After countless resumes, phone calls and even a few interviews, I hung my head and went to spend the summer at my grandfather's home with him and my mom. She convinced me to get up and volunteer, to do something to hopefully snap me out of this funk that I was in. It worked and the depression lifted. I volunteered myself to The Red Barn Theatre and my eyes, and heart, were opened to something new, fun and a bit magical. I helped with props and set decorating and I put so much hard work into my duties there that they hired me on to finish out the season.
I spent the next eight seasons with them, learning the tricks of the trade, meeting great people, acquiring other job leads and realizing my dreams of living within the arts was still alive. However, even in those darker times that life can throw at us, it was The Red Barn that helped me get through. The passing of my grandfather (from cancer) was a hard pill to swallow as my dad had already died years before, so my Opa was the male figure in my life. My mom's accident that led to a brain injury was an even bigger tragedy! My mom's brain injury inflicted her with aphasia, a speech disorder that hinders her ability to talk and understand. She has come a long way with the aid of rehabilitation workers, but has also been given help to communicate through the medium of music.
For personal reasons I left The Red Barn after that event; I had to now help out with what my mom had to live with, and that meant finding work with a more structured schedule that kept me closer to home. Anyone working in theatre I am sure understands what I mean when I say this. But theatre left me with many great memories, a great appreciation for the arts, (as if I didn't already have one) and a list of good friends. Friends that offered me support and kept me from falling off the cliff into the abyss of depression. (A special shout out goes to my good friends Kevin and Susann)
Something else The Red Barn left me with, or rekindled maybe, was the gift of writing. As I stated in my opening, I'm a writer. I have written a novel series as well as some short stories. I have a passion for writing; and like the theatre that offered me support and vision, writing has given me hope, inspiration and understanding. I have learned how to deal with the misfortunes in my life by the written word, some of which I have shared and some that I have kept to myself.
The greatest thing writing has given me is knowledge, acceptance and inner peace for myself. When I was 6 years of age my brain was inflicted with a virus and I was hospitalized for months. I had slept with little signs of life for two weeks. I spent the remainder of my childhood and up to my mid twenties living in a cloud of confusion and depression. (a very familiar aspect of my life) A Creative Writing program I had enrolled in led me to do a short story on self awareness. I knew of my time in the hospital but little else. The writing begged of me to ask questions and do research. My thoughts and my story eventually gave me the courage to seek out and find a proper "medical" diagnosis. It is a relief to know that I wasn't going crazy!
Because of the Arts I am aware of my brain injury and able to be an advocate. Through my volunteering as a mentor and my blogging, I like to believe I have contributed to making a difference.
Because of the Arts (in part) my mom is able to communicate with family and friends.
Because of the Arts I have, in my own way, learned how to understand and cope with the Tribulations that have plagued my life.
Because of the Arts I feel like I am of value and can contribute to this world.
Join me in making a pledge to keep the Arts alive, because in many ways, they keep us alive. Let us start our acknowledgement together of this great gift, and all that are held within, by signing the petition for the Markham Arts Council by clicking here: http://t.co/sR4ERUnrKa
Let the Arts live!
The other week I was was invited, along with some of my colleagues at the Writers Community of York Region writing group, to attend the Unionville Festival to showcase some of my work. I choose to bring my stories of Chronicles of a Girl and the Soul Bound series. We were asked there by the Markham Arts Council to help represent the creative community.
It came to my attention that the Markham Arts Council, also known as MAC, are being threatened with closure. MAC is in a tough position as the City of Markham is deliberating whether to continue, reduce or cancel funding all together.
While I support MAC, just as I would any other creative organization, I also understand that there are other things in our society that hold just as much importance. But that is it, "just as much". The arts should not be overshadowed. Their relevance to this world is great; and when I say this I am not just talking about the pretty and colourful pictures on the wall. It goes much deeper than that.
Whether it is literature, theatrical, painting, dance, composing, music, and so many others I cannot even think of right now, the arts are oh so very important. This is a medium that not only supports many jobs and hobbies, it instills family values and creates relative outings and gatherings. The arts promotes culture, contributes to education, adds to an economic need, and helps growth in not just the traditional way, but a therapeutic one as well. I could go into detail about each of these things and rhyme off some detailed fact checking, but instead I will simply tell you my personal story of how the arts has impacted my life.
For as long as I can recall I have always been a creative person. All throughout school my favourite subjects included Art and English Media. I enrolled into a Graphic Design program in college; and even though it took a little longer than I had anticipated, I worked hard and graduated with honors. I was so proud and happy only too have those feelings turn into disappointment and uncertainty. I did not possess the computer skills nor the accuracy required for the way the Graphic Design industry now flourishes.
After countless resumes, phone calls and even a few interviews, I hung my head and went to spend the summer at my grandfather's home with him and my mom. She convinced me to get up and volunteer, to do something to hopefully snap me out of this funk that I was in. It worked and the depression lifted. I volunteered myself to The Red Barn Theatre and my eyes, and heart, were opened to something new, fun and a bit magical. I helped with props and set decorating and I put so much hard work into my duties there that they hired me on to finish out the season.
I spent the next eight seasons with them, learning the tricks of the trade, meeting great people, acquiring other job leads and realizing my dreams of living within the arts was still alive. However, even in those darker times that life can throw at us, it was The Red Barn that helped me get through. The passing of my grandfather (from cancer) was a hard pill to swallow as my dad had already died years before, so my Opa was the male figure in my life. My mom's accident that led to a brain injury was an even bigger tragedy! My mom's brain injury inflicted her with aphasia, a speech disorder that hinders her ability to talk and understand. She has come a long way with the aid of rehabilitation workers, but has also been given help to communicate through the medium of music.
For personal reasons I left The Red Barn after that event; I had to now help out with what my mom had to live with, and that meant finding work with a more structured schedule that kept me closer to home. Anyone working in theatre I am sure understands what I mean when I say this. But theatre left me with many great memories, a great appreciation for the arts, (as if I didn't already have one) and a list of good friends. Friends that offered me support and kept me from falling off the cliff into the abyss of depression. (A special shout out goes to my good friends Kevin and Susann)
Something else The Red Barn left me with, or rekindled maybe, was the gift of writing. As I stated in my opening, I'm a writer. I have written a novel series as well as some short stories. I have a passion for writing; and like the theatre that offered me support and vision, writing has given me hope, inspiration and understanding. I have learned how to deal with the misfortunes in my life by the written word, some of which I have shared and some that I have kept to myself.
The greatest thing writing has given me is knowledge, acceptance and inner peace for myself. When I was 6 years of age my brain was inflicted with a virus and I was hospitalized for months. I had slept with little signs of life for two weeks. I spent the remainder of my childhood and up to my mid twenties living in a cloud of confusion and depression. (a very familiar aspect of my life) A Creative Writing program I had enrolled in led me to do a short story on self awareness. I knew of my time in the hospital but little else. The writing begged of me to ask questions and do research. My thoughts and my story eventually gave me the courage to seek out and find a proper "medical" diagnosis. It is a relief to know that I wasn't going crazy!
Because of the Arts I am aware of my brain injury and able to be an advocate. Through my volunteering as a mentor and my blogging, I like to believe I have contributed to making a difference.
Because of the Arts (in part) my mom is able to communicate with family and friends.
Because of the Arts I have, in my own way, learned how to understand and cope with the Tribulations that have plagued my life.
Because of the Arts I feel like I am of value and can contribute to this world.
Join me in making a pledge to keep the Arts alive, because in many ways, they keep us alive. Let us start our acknowledgement together of this great gift, and all that are held within, by signing the petition for the Markham Arts Council by clicking here: http://t.co/sR4ERUnrKa
Let the Arts live!
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Word Play
As a writer I love using certain words like Monolith and Omnipotent; and in life there are certain words that resonate within me, words that I adhere to, words like Inclusion, Equality or Amelioration. Like that one? Look it up.
It is my belief that in our ever changing society there is always room for improvement, self reflection and growth, but that does not mean we should overlook another great word, Acceptance. Not accepting "what is" can make our lives quite difficult at times. For example: I accept the challenges and barriers brought forth by my disability, but I am always trying to improve on how I deal with them, work with and around them, and perhaps even overcome them. If I don't accept those things, then I might drown in them, allowing them to overshadow what could be.
All of what we do is brought on by an action that is brought on by a thought that is started with a word. Whether spoken, written or silently contemplated, words can bring us up or tear us down. Words can be inspirational or despairing.They are pretty powerful in the way that they can create beauty, imagery, mystery and hope. Words can bring about sorrow and hatred.
Strung together they can make exquisite music or engaging stories, or malicious propaganda. Words can paint surreal worlds, helping us get magically lost and then being found again, or they can bring about real awareness and help to educate.
Words should be honoured, respected and chosen carefully before being thrown around. They effect us all and I don't think we realize the impact words can have.
It is my belief that in our ever changing society there is always room for improvement, self reflection and growth, but that does not mean we should overlook another great word, Acceptance. Not accepting "what is" can make our lives quite difficult at times. For example: I accept the challenges and barriers brought forth by my disability, but I am always trying to improve on how I deal with them, work with and around them, and perhaps even overcome them. If I don't accept those things, then I might drown in them, allowing them to overshadow what could be.
All of what we do is brought on by an action that is brought on by a thought that is started with a word. Whether spoken, written or silently contemplated, words can bring us up or tear us down. Words can be inspirational or despairing.They are pretty powerful in the way that they can create beauty, imagery, mystery and hope. Words can bring about sorrow and hatred.
Strung together they can make exquisite music or engaging stories, or malicious propaganda. Words can paint surreal worlds, helping us get magically lost and then being found again, or they can bring about real awareness and help to educate.
Words should be honoured, respected and chosen carefully before being thrown around. They effect us all and I don't think we realize the impact words can have.
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