Tools to Reflect upon

So in my last blog entry, "It's All in the Title", I spoke of the universal meaning behind my blog title, "Challenging Barriers". Life can present to us so many different challenges and barriers we must face, stand up to, and/or get around. But we also have a variety of tools for us to use as a form of aid. What I call "tools of hope" are not the carpentry kind, they are not

but rather people, services, exercises or any other kind of outlet. I referred to one of my "tools of hope" being writing. But it could also be painting, playing a musical instrument, reading...... the list could on. I suppose a "tool of hope" could be carpentry or building in some manner, but I'm meaning a more spiritual or emotional tool that helps us work through stuff as opposed to the actual hammer.

 All of these independent "tools" are great, but quite often people more need "tools" to connect us with support in some way. Although I suppose those connections can also manifest themselves through independent "tools".

(If this is confusing at all, I think you'll come to an understanding soon enough.)

Over the course of the next while (perhaps beginning in the new year) I've decided to write into my blog a series of posts that will shed some light on some of these "tools of hope". There are quite a few in today's society, all over the world in fact, but I can't write about them all; so I'll just write about those closest to me. One's that I know about or have been part of in some way. It's funny, I used to think that when volunteering or donating one should keep it to him or herself. It was and is supposed to be about giving and not receiving any type of personal gain or pat on the back. Now I think differently...... it should still not be about personal gain, but it should include things like learning, sharing, growing and maybe even inspiring others to extend their own hands. There's no other way to do that than to talk about it. And I suppose there's nothing wrong with a little pat on the back.

Through these posts I'll share my thoughts on these wonderful "tools", provide some information, add a link for you to visit if interest strikes, and maybe just bring about some awareness of those that try and offer help where needed. With the craziness of the busy lives we tend to lead I don't know if people are always aware. Perhaps they, you, and me, need to be reminded. Also, as it turns out, this happens to be a great time of the year to begin reflecting upon something like hope.

So I hope everyone enjoys the magic of this beautiful season, share it with family and friends, and give a little thought to all those wonderful "tools" out there, some of which you'll be able to read about here.

It's All in the Title

You don't know this person; but this person represents a lot of things.

This is someone with a learning disability;
This is that boy in school that got bullied every single day;
This is the woman who just walked away from an abusive relationship;
This is that guy who recently lost his job and can now barely afford to keep the roof over his and his family's head;
This is a student who just failed her first class and is afraid to face her parents with the news;
This is someone who cheated on their spouse and is now afraid of losing the best thing they ever had;
This is that teen who was told, "No, you can't come home."
This is the genius disguised as a homeless bum because he can't catch a break.;
This is someone who has been told he won't live to see his child grow up because he has Cancer;
This is someone who is afraid.

The other day I was talking to someone about my passion for writing, a subject I can go on and on about. I told him how I not only enjoy scribbling down the stories playing throughout my head but that I also felt writing to be very therapeutic. I told this person that through writing I believe we can learn, grow and heal; and exercising the imagination with pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) can be good for the soul.
At this point of the conversation I was asked about how I came to choosing the title "Challenging Barriers". The explanation I gave was this: As much as writing this blog may have sprung up from my brain injury, and as much as I litter my posts with stories about my life and my opinions, Challenging Barriers is only a teenie-tiny bit about me. Challenging Barriers is a universal thing I think everyone feels or goes through or lives with.

The image above is accompanied by a list that can go on and on. (just like me talking about my writing) We all have our Challenging Barriers. They are all different, and in some ways, all the same. We have to leap frog them, go around them, beat them back....... acknowledge them....... and sometimes even embrace them. And I say them because I mean them, as in more than one. Because I'm not just talking about a disability or illness, I'm also referring to the ones mentioned above and those that aren't there, like someone who juggles two jobs to make ends meet and also lives with constant migraines or someone feeling all alone.

Some of our barriers we are able to shake and walk away from, some drift in and out of our lives, some change, some we live with forever. But just as we have, in some form or another, those Challenging Barriers in common....... we also share something else. That something else is depicted in that imagine above, in that "someones" hands. It is hope. And that idea of hope is transformed into an object we can use, or something that we do or have in our lives. That hope gives us light, clarity, happiness, and strength. It allows us to face, stare down, and deal with our barriers.

Some of my "tools of hope" are: family, friends, and writing........ and chocolate ice cream helps too. :)

I believe we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit, but we also all need a little help sometimes, or even just an ear to tug. If you don't feel like you have that, I'm always here, pretty easy to find. I don't mind being one of your "tools" when dealing with those pesky Challenging Barriers.
Because Challenging Barriers are just that, challenging; not the end of the road. And no one should have to face the challenge alone.

Sprinkles On a Page

There are a lot of things in my life that I am proud of, and that includes the written word I share though this very blog, articles, short stories, my novels..... it could on. Writing for me is a very personal thing, whether it be a fictional story or my expressed opinion, I'm sharing parts of my inner soul.
Now I said that I am proud of a lot of things, but they are all on my own made up scale, some meaning more than others. When it comes to writing I refer to my first published novel, "Chronicles of a Girl". But let me back track a bit and give you a brief history.

Creativity has been part of who I am for a very, very, long time. In my younger years before entering high school I enjoyed the art of storytelling and I did manage to occasionally put pen to paper and churn out a book; never published, but a great literary piece non-the-less. I present to you "Donneedon Adventure."

It was loosely based (at least the title) on an educational television series I was watching in school at the time, (called "Read All About It") but mainly it chronicled the tale of my best friend and I and the adventurous stories we put ourselves through in the neighborhood we grew up in; with a space theme to it. I also wrote "I Hate Johnny" and "Land of the Pips".

Once I moved into high school though, I put my storytelling pen away and focused on school work. I thoroughly enjoyed two classes, Media English and Art. I loved the essays we got to write after reading "Catcher in the Rye" or watching "Good Morning, Vietnam". And drawing in art class was a form of expression enjoyed so much that I tried to carry it
over into my college years. I liked creating visual images with my pencil, an outlet of the ideas I manufactured in my brain. Achieving my "Graphic Design" diploma though never quite turned out to be much in the way of a career down that path. I tried, but it was hard for me with all of this new technology that seemed to be part of the design world. My schooling was just on the cusp of things I guess and I never got much of any educational training in it...... but to face facts, the technical aspect of it was just too much for my little brain to handle.

So, that summer I spent my time visiting with my Grandfather, in the little town of Sutton, where I currently live. I began volunteering down the road from our house at the historical Red Barn theatre. (Sadly it caught fire and burnt down in 2008) I say that I began volunteering because within weeks it turned into a job that lasted eight years. Working in stage production and being part of this creative world was something I became hooked on very quickly. I was involved in helping to set decorate, set design, collect and create props, and I learned a lot about lighting and sound and all that neat theatre stuff! I even got to sit back stage and operate some puppets for a show one time. Something else I really enjoyed was that for the first time, not only was I participating in the creative process, but I got to see the outcome it bestowed onto people. The laughter of the audience, the reviews, and the Q & A sessions we did for the few children shows we had.
Another thing the theatre did for me was rekindle my enjoyment of writing. Part of my job was to read through the scripts to get an idea of the show. I began thinking that these stories could, or should, have this in it or that placed there. I thought, I could write something like this.

That path lead me to try and join a summer school course for script writing, but not enough people signed up, so it was cancelled. I was disappointed but not discouraged, and after some thought I decided to enroll in a Creative Writing program with the Stratford Career Institute. Because this two year program was done through correspondence I managed to graduate within one year and a few months. I was really into the lessons on "Scene & Structure", "Theme & Strategy" and "Characters & Viewpoint" to name a few. After I graduated I began writing articles and short stories and my ideas were all generated from personal experiences and growth. Some things were published, quite a bit were not. But it was all a growing exercise for me, which I needed, and I don't regret the path I've taken at all.

I started out writing "Chronicles of a Girl" as a short story about a young girl going through tough times and overcoming things, and like my creative path, it grew. My main character, Chloe Anderson, took over (so to speak) and when I was done I had a two hundred and seventy five page manuscript in front of me. I had ideas for a follow up (which I just released) and even a third. (working on it)
I may have jumped into the publishing world a little too quickly and I got myself caught in some rocky terrain that I had to work my way through, but I think it was worth it..... for me anyway. Some big bumps were overcome but I am sure there are more still out there to deal with, and I can only handle them at my speed and in my way, not anyone else's; although advice from others always helps.
Growing and learning, for me, never gets old.
Before I published my second book I was told that maybe I should learn from those rough patches that I encountered, before, during, and after my first book and forget about the continuation of the "Chronicles..." series and start fresh. While I definitely learn, or try to learn, from EVERY rough patch, I cannot forget about Chloe Anderson. She has a story to tell, I have a story to tell, I am her Ghost Writer, and I cannot turn my back to that. I'm ready for any difficulties that may come at me, just as she is. At the core of it, unseen in the pages, "Chronicles of a Girl" is the "chronicles of Mark and his creative path". Every thing I do, every page I write, every word I utter, has a sprinkle of me.

I think none of us should give up on our dreams, to turn away, and force our "sprinkles" into another direction. We all have a talent, something we can do that we enjoy and are good at, and it should be, at the very least, considered. So don't give, because I'm not going to.

Dreams & a Cricket Named Jiminy

One of my most favorite new shows on television is called Once Upon a Time....... a modern day story, or fairy tale, about a mixture of fairy tales that I grew up reading or watching in the movies. Snow White, Cinderella, Pinocchio, etc.... I find a lot of the stories and characters in this show rather neat, but what I find most interesting is that according to this tale, the modern day Jiminy Cricket, in real life, is a psychiatrist. Archie Hopper is his new name.
Jiminy is most famous for his friend made of wood with the growing nose, and that beautiful song he sings, When You Wish Upon a Star. A classic song that tells us all there is no harm in having dreams. The song goes even further to speak about not giving up on what you believe in and that you have a vast array of choices in life, no matter who you are. (including being a boy made of wood with a nose that grows every time you lie)

I believe that life is about dreams and possibilities, but it is also about being grounded and realistic.
People who reach for the stars and never quite get there and may find themselves lost at times, are often referred to as "dreamers". Is this a bad thing? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I myself am a writer that quite often lives in an imaginary dream world. (I once took one of those personality tests that I had a friend send me, it was found online, and the conclusion was, that in fact, I am a "dreamer".) But I also have many responsibilities right here in the "real" world that I take seriously, and along with those pesky bills that keep coming to my house, I always have at least one foot (or toe) grounded in reality.

There is nothing wrong with dreaming. I love star gazing and once and a while wishing on one of those stars up in the sky. I tend to daydream on occasion too, staring often into nothingness while my mind enters another place. But I try my best to keep my head about me and I know that some dreams are only meant to be dreams. I don't think I really would want them all to come true anyway. So I try my best to stay on that fine line between the dream world and the reality one. And that is why I find the choice of Jiminy's alter ego being Archie Hopper such an interesting mix. Just like the dreams of life I suppose.

I See 'Lites'

I'm not referring to the Christmas lights I recently put up around the outside of my house, the weather was just too good to pass up. Not doing it when the wind is blowing and the snow is falling and my fingers are freezing from the frigid temperatures is not going to be missed. However, the 'Lites' I am talking about does have to do with Christmas.

Christmas Lites is an anthology of short stories, all surrounding the theme of Christmas, that was put together by the Creative Reviews group. A group of people with an interest in the written word and a good heart..... or hearts. I include their hearts because all proceeds of this book are going toward the NCADV organization (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence) and ebooks are being sent to troops overseas. There are many people to thank for contributing to this, but I name the above mentioned on the book cover, Amy Eye, Cambria Hebert & Jenn Pringle.

The moment I read Jenn's blog about this endeavor, I just knew I had to get involved. The thought of combining two of my greatest passions, writing and giving back, (donating/fundraising, volunteering) couldn't be passed up! It was nice to see something like this and to be able to get involved.

Regardless of selling the two books I've written, writing has always come naturally to me and is fairly easy when compared to giving back. Being compassionate and caring and helping out has also always been part of my nature, but it can bring on it's headaches. You would think that outreached hands to volunteer would always be accepted, but that is not so. And I'm not talking about simply being turned away because of an overabundance of help (though if that's the case that would be fine.... terrific in fact) or not meeting certain requirements, I'm talking about not even getting a response to your pledge. But I try not to let this get me down too much, and move on.
Then there is the dilemma of the donation, because it seems once you donate you become a target. If I was a Millionaire I'd love to donate to every worthy cause, but I'm not a Millionaire and simply can't. This year, from I'd say October 1st up to yesterday, I have been bombarded with an onslaught of mailings from some very worthy organizations. So this passion for giving back can not only bring about frustration but a certain amount of guilt.
Yes, I feel guilty for not being able to contribute what I don't have. But that's me.

So this book, 'Christmas Lites' was a perfect way to lend out some of my "Giving Spirit". I hope that anybody reading my post or hearing about this book elsewhere will buy a copy and be part of the Spirit. (I'll leave a comment about where to buy it and the price when I get that info) It is projects like this, with the people involved, that help me see what it is all about when I sometimes lose sight.

I'm In It

Life can be hard! Life can suck! The ugliness it can offer tends to creep up on me, more often than I'd like.  But anyone who knows me, or even anyone who has read these blog posts I've written, knows that I have made a choice. That choice has been to remain positive, and for the most part I do. I try to see things in a simplistic way. I focus on beauty and love, peace and goodwill. I have faith.
But there are times I see problems in my choice. Not because I see problems in being that way, I believe in seeing the light in everything and I know that deep down it is who I am. Call it what you will, but I really do think it is the way everyone should be. The problem is making mistakes, personal mistakes, and not being able to see through or past them. One or two isn't that bad, but eventually it starts getting foggy if you can't let go. And the silver lining that I always look for becomes a struggle to grasp onto.

I've made both financial and emotional mistakes. I won't really get into the financial ones (of course one could say that since I have a good roof over my head and haven't gotten into any serious debt, I'm fine) but I can tell you that these things can make you second guess yourself. As can the emotional ones. There are times I'm pretty sure I say the wrong thing..... or perhaps too much...... or maybe even too little. I have come to learn that sometimes, even saying nothing, can lead to problems; because someone else comes to the conclusion in their head that there is a reason I'm saying nothing....... usually one that is bad. It never seems to be "Oh, he's just happy", or "He's comfortable". Maybe sharing my personal views on this blog is a mistake. I like to think not, I like to stay positive about it, but who knows.

I'd like to say that I learn from my mistakes, but I am not entirely sure that I do. Fact is I am happy with my life; I always have been.... or at least I try to be. I love the people in my life and the things they have brought to it. I enjoy my writing and I enjoy my work. But I can't get around my mistakes, no matter how positive and happy I try to be. I don't understand. I live with confusion.
One thing I do know though, is that I'm in it; life. I'm not gone and I'm not going anywhere. (not by choice anyway) I make mistakes, I'm not sure how to fix them or keep from making them. I don't know how much I'll ever understand or how long I'll stay confused about certain things. But like I said at the beginning, I try to focus more on beauty and love, peace and goodwill. That helps balance things.
I have faith and I'm going to keep it.....mistakes and all.

Matter & Mind, Two of a Kind

I'm sure you've all heard of the saying "mind over matter" when faced with an obstacle or challenge; that you can overcome almost anything if you put your mind to. It is true. I totally believe in the concept that our mind and our will is an immensely powerful tool that can be used to climb up and rise above. But lately I have wondered if others looking in from the outside really see things that we do, or are trying to do, as mind over matter. Do they not really see matter over mind?
Let me explain a little more. Mind is something very similar to conviction or faith, Matter is more like a tangible object. Matter is the easy road, (in some ways) Mind is more difficult.
It is easier to stay on common ground, go with the flow and even jump to conclusions than it is to take the high road  and be patient and think things through. And sometimes it is easier to hear than listen.

I am a hard working individual, (really) I have a strong work ethic. I am reliable and dependable. I am patient and think things through and can be creative. I get the job done and don't really say a whole lot along the way. I realize that staying quiet may at times be a hindrance, but I like, and sometimes need, to stay focused and concentrate on the task at hand. I have a learning disability that can make things difficult for me. I also have responsibilities that I cannot and will not shirk.
So there are times I feel I am viewed as a hard working individual who can get the job done regardless of what I say, because my words that are heard are overshadowed by what people see. And that is when it becomes matter over mind.

My mom sustained a brain injury quite a few years ago and has since worked hard to accomplish a lot. She attends an Aphasia program and it has helped her in so many ways. I am so proud of her!  She once put together a speech (with the aid of myself and her PSW) on her life and injury. She presented this speech at an Ontario March of Dimes conference in front of a large room for of people. She was featured in both the Aphasia and OMOD newsletter. She is a very social and friendly person. It is in her nature to help people out where she can. She has a walking cain but does very well without when she is in familiar territory.
When I tell people of her disability, they express their sympathies over the situation. But when some people meet her that sympathy changes just a bit. Don't get me wrong, I don't think anyone should be getting constant sympathy and I would NEVER want a disability to overshadow the person. But when people who do not know her that well or see her that often, see her smile, hear her cheerful tone and see her walking around, they forget. They don't see the inner struggle, the work that she puts forth in doing those great things she does. It becomes matter over mind.

I know we don't really want to be in a situation like this, but let's just say if you were to view, from a distance, two little girls, crying, which one would you go to? Let me add the scenario; Girl A is 15 years old, sitting on the stoop in her backyard, alone, everyone else inside. Girl B is 7 years old and outside as well, but at a street corner in her community. Again, no one around. She is kneeling on the pavement beside her bicycle. Her knees and hands are scraped and there is a bleeding cut on her forehead. (I added a little more detail to girl B because it is more visual)
So really, who would you go to?
I'm guessing most people would go to girl B because it is obvious why she is crying. She fell off of her bike and injured herself. Going about lending a hand, fixing the problem or getting help is pretty easy to determine. Girl A could be crying because she is in her backyard alone, but that could be easily fixed by going inside, that should be obvious even to the girl. Perhaps it is a funeral and her mom just died. Maybe her parents are getting divorced. She could be upset over a teenage romantic break up, or even worse, an assault. This girl could need advice or just someone to listen to her problems..... maybe that is it, maybe she feels she needs these things and is being neglected. (Notice how girl A now has more details?)

My point is matter over mind. Girl B's problem is seen and probably won't take up much time to fix or figure out; it is a physical, tangible problem. Girl A is going to need patience, understanding, require listening and may lead to something else that can't be seen.

Whether the situation is girl A, girl B, my mom, myself, or anyone else, there should be no difference. It shouldn't be matter over mind, nor should it be mind over matter. Mind and Matter are the same thing, those important, precious details that are part of life; part of our individuality. It could be our own mind or another person's mindset, our own matter (our physical self) or any and all outside influences.  Doing the best you can for yourself and others is what's important........ there is no variance, it just is what it is.