Mindful Sunset

So I am lucky enough to have a house with lakefront property, and I very much enjoy the times I can sit out on my front patio with my mom and dog and look out over the rippling water to witness some beautiful sunsets. 
Even if I am indoors watching through the window; even if it is not summer, but during those long, frigid, winter months. Although the snowy cold season can cloud cover the sun, I have caught an occasional magnificent setting over the ice of the lake.

Over the years, from lived experiences of challenging barriers and talking with others, I have gained a slightly different perspective on things. I learn and grow all the time. And I have come to appreciate another type of sunset, an inner dwelling one, what I call ‘the mindful sunset’.

“Close your eyes and breath,” I tell myself. “Recall the beauty and laughter, know that you are not alone and that it doesn’t have to be THAT terribly hard… at least not in this moment. Allow the fog to clear and the sunset to begin.”

I have a disability that follows me wherever I go, and some days are harder than others. The struggle can be overbearing at times. My feelings can become overwhelming. I’ve gotten pretty good at the disguise, not letting people see in. I vent through my writing, (shared or not) and to my social worker. At times I just stare and let the darkness in and then….

Stop!

The hurt only goes as far as my mind allows it. My disability only affects my life as much as my mind allows it. I am not handcuffed to that darkness… though I often forget.

The mindful sunset helps bring me peace… even if it is only momentary it is welcomed. Because I know that I can find it again. 

The struggles and challenges are like waves; they will come, but they will also go. And beyond them, will always be a calming and beautiful sunset.