Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Boys & Girls & Friendships and Stuff

Some boys like girls;

some girls like boys;

some boys like other boys;

some girls like other girls.

Acquaintances, friendships, intimacies...

What matters is what is on the inside, the heart and the feelings it creates. Sounds simple; makes sense. But is it? Not so much for this boy.

It is difficult to understand; difficult to understand others; difficult to understand myself. People. What am I supposed to say? What do I do? What is it supposed to be like? But maybe, there is no ‘supposed to be’. Maybe it is my old brain complicating things. Shouldn’t those feelings that the heart creates be good and simple? Good and simple don’t drain me; they don’t exhaust me.

Trying to get out of the way of myself and around my own thoughts can be a challenge. Is this part of human nature, or just my nature? Boys and girls, friendships or more, I don’t think they should be complicated. I understand struggles and challenges; I understand working hard for something you want; but I don’t get complications of the simplest nature.

Health issues, disability challenges, financial stress, life in general. These are the complications to worry about, the ones we cannot necessarily control. Boys and girls and feelings from the heart… them not so much.

Maybe I’m just a simple boy with too many fairy tale dreams. I just don’t understand when simple feelings of the heart became replaced with surface complications. When did we start to accept that something worthwhile was something of hard labour?

The feelings between boys and girls and friendships and more, and how we get along. These should be precious things, not complicated ones.

Monday, July 16, 2018

Calling for Kool-Aid

Where does the time go?

I recall as a young kid me and my friends playing for countless hours (or so it seemed anyway) outdoors in the back fields or other surrounding areas of our town house. Dodgeball, tag, cops and robbers or even creating our own Olympic games of long jump or running track around a row of side-by-side homes, someone from the group staying back to clock our speed.

“Red rover, red rover.” We’d call for more time to laugh and play.

We always dreamed about growing up and learning to drive and making money; never did we give much thought to the jobs and responsibilities that came with those things. A break for a refreshing drink was clearly more appealing than the thought of paying taxes and hydro bills.

That anthropomorphic pitcher dude filled with the fruit juice, the mascot of Kool-Aid. Many times did I cherish his presence bursting onto the scene; because to me, not only did he represent a refreshing quench to thirst, but more fun; more time.

What happened? Where is the Kool-Aid Man now? The fun is still here, but maybe a little more distant, a little more rigid. The time, it seems a little more tight.

Fun isn’t meant to be scheduled, it should be everywhere in everything we do. I grew up, but I don’t need to leave the fun behind; just need to remind myself of that. We can’t let the craziness of society blind us to the good times that remain. “Red rover, red rover” may be a little different now, but the innocence of laughter should not be lost. 

The daily quench for a little Kool-Aid… yes daily. It’s allowed. It’s time to stop saying “young at heart”, and just be, young at heart. 

There is no need to wait for more time.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018


I recall in my younger years, early teens, riding the waves with my good friend. We were surfer dudes. Ok, so it wasn’t hanging ten off of the coast in California or Hawaii, it was in Lake Simcoe of Sutton Ontario. Styrofoam boards, moppy hair, wildly bright swim trunks!

We never even stood on the board. But it was still fun riding the two to three foot waves.

I wish all of the waves in life were like that. Fun. But I suppose, some are necessary. Some others, most of them maybe, unfair.

Life for just about everyone I am sure presents its difficulties, and it can be challenging to get through most often when people don’t seem to understand.
Financial issues; social issues; family obligation; work; discrimination. The list can pile up.

Life can be a bi$#h. Cruel even. And these are the waves we must ride.
But that’s just it, we ride them. We deal the best way can.

I’m not sure when or why it became shameful or embarrassing to step back, to seek help, to say I can’t do this and cry. Being put in a place to help others is great, but that doesn't mean we are not allowed to look out for ourselves or ask for some assistance now and then. Misunderstandings happen, sadness occurs. It is life. We ride the waves, and hopefully, somewhere along the line, we figure out that good times or bad, it is part of a journey.
Sticks and stones hurt. Being made to feel irrelevant hurts. And while it may be a part of life, it shouldn’t be; and it sucks.

These are the waves. Some enjoyable, some not so much. But we ride them. Because in the long haul, just like those three footers on Lake Simcoe, it is part of life. Sometimes we see the worth at the onset, sometimes it takes a while. But if we decide to go through, to endure….
I like to think that wearing my heart on my sleeve is a good thing, but maybe it is not. 

Because I don’t know if others see the world the way my eyes do. Maybe they in fact do, and I am confused. Life in general, it is hard; I just keep trying to ride the waves. Survive. What else can I do?