Throughout my life I have occasionally experienced feelings of bliss, love, ease and/or comfort. Happiness is brought about during these moments; a beautiful sensation of being able to just breath and let go of all the heartache, pain, stress and exhaustion that this life can bring.
I don’t care for hot and humid days. I don’t need to return to that hill. But I would like to take that breeze and bottle it, turn it into a blanket that I can wear whenever and wherever I want and feel the need for. I know that this feeling is not what life is, and that is fine. I have learned to live with and overcome a lot. My survival is not dependent on this feeling, but I do wish it were more accessible. It is not, and I don’t know why. Is life to blame? Is society to blame? Am I to blame? Am I missing something?
Bring on the heartache, pain, confusion, exhaustion. Bring on life’s challenges and struggles. I’ve been dealing with these things since the age of six. I have learned how to fight against them. Family and friends have helped me with this; they have helped me to understand and grow.
All I want is for the walls to come down, even if for just a moment, and for the lucidity to blow on through. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting that breezy feeling; that blanket. Just like I do not think that there is anything wrong with wanting to occassionally return to a time or feeling when I was just a boy.
I think I deserve that feeling.
I think we all deserve our own breezes and blankets.
Challenging Barriers & Walking the Path is a book about struggles, growth, family, friends, tears, smiles, and… just a boy.
Visit http://markkoning.com/ChallengingBarriers.html to purchase your copy.