I Never Cried

I was thirteen years old when my dad passed away. I clearly remember my mom telling me and my sister in our living room. It had been seven years since I had been hospitalized with a brain infection that had sucked away a good portion of my life and my understanding of things; but this was beyond horrifying! I felt awful, a large chunk of my life was being stomped on; my dad was gone............ but I never cried.
I haven't thought a whole lot about that pivotal moment in my life until a little while ago when I was listening to someone I knew explain how he had felt when, just recently, his dad had passed away. He spoke of how over time and dealing with certain events we learn how to handle our grief, yet he explained how him and his family were truly upset over their father's passing. I could see the sadness on his face and hear it in his words.
Are we ever supposed to get better at handling grief?
His dad was with him a lot longer than my dad was with me. Is that supposed to make a difference?

Losing a loved one is earth shattering, no doubt, but there are also many, many other challenges we face that are difficult. Walking through life with a disability and barriers that I face because of it has proven very tasking at times. I'm sure others have come up against mountains to climb as well. I have faced unemployment and been unemployed and it can be very scary. Once you find yourself out of that employment ring, even for a moment, it can be quite challenging to get back into. Expenses in life are high and stressful. Romantic relationships, friendships and even family can present trials and tribulations to ones life. Depression, frustration and confusion are really, unfortunately, not that hard to come by. It is easy to feel bad and worthless because things aren't the way they are supposed to be.
But is anything really supposed to be?

Don't get me wrong, people should have jobs and work and contribute. People need to make money to pay bills and feel self worth. People need to be open and accepting to ALL forms of relationships. Doing the right thing and trying your best and sharing and loving are definitely things that should be done. This is the way to live. To lend a helping hand and to be pro-active. But even if we do all of this and try real hard and things don't work out, because life has proven time and time again to have its challenges, no one should feel like they've lost.
"This isn't the way it is supposed to be." I've heard it before and I'm sure it will be uttered somewhere again. We all get to feeling down about things when they don't work out. I've been there, I've felt it, and I am sure I'll feel it again. It is what it is.
There is no supposed to. Things in life change all the time and we need to remember, I need to remember, that we have the power to feel about it any way we want, all of us.
Because just like I never cried, we feel and then deal with it in our own way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.