Challenges Endured

On a weekday when going to work I wake up to the “Beep, Beep” of the alarm at six-thirty am. On a day off I usually forego the alarm but still end up rising before too long.                                                                                                                            

Regardless of going to the paying job, sitting at home writing or spending time with the family, each day I know that I am going to face frustration, fatigue and uncertainty. But this is no one’s fault. 

So as I stretch myself awake and sip at my tea, staring into nothing, I try to take it in.

To prepare for the coming activity.

I try to understand.

As I take my shower and get dressed, go to work, flip on the TV and move through the motions that can be sometimes difficult but also rewarding and fun, I think about how in some ways my life has had to deal with darkness like no one else, but also in other ways, less so than many others.

I have had challenges and barriers thrown my way.

And I remember.

Others have dealt with messes as well, in their own ways.

We move on.

These thoughts help me endure. To get through; to smile; to dance; to laugh and to love. 

I get through my day and just like it is always, I look forward to the next.

I have endured.

I will endure.

Steps

It’s all about moving forward, and sometimes, (ironically) that includes moving backward.

The first time I cried from the loss of my father to the time I felt nauseated, sitting there, learning of a disability I had. I did not realize then what I know now, I was on a ladder jostling the rungs, or on a mountain trying to find my footing.

Do senseless, sad, upsetting things happen in our lives for various reasons so that we can learn from the experiences? Does tragedy and heartache really make people stronger? I’m not so certain.

But like with everything in life, there is a choice. Fall and stay there, or fall and get back up. 

Learn; hope; take steps.

Just like I chose to walk a certain path after learning about my injury.

The way that a young boy decided to push aside the pain and attempt to walk with the help of some devices.

That when faced with injury that took away words, my mom made a choice and battled with learning how to talk all over again at the age of fifty-nine.

The young girl who decided stigma was just a six letter word and that she would not be ashamed or scared of living a life with HIV. 

The way that guy born with no fingers or feet made it known that all he really needed was a heart.

 

Whether it is three steps forward and one step back, or eight steps forward a hop skip and a jump, or a turn sideways and fourteen steps ahead. Just like us, all steps to be taken are different. But one thing does remain the same, the best way to go about it, to deal with any issue, is one step at a time.

Find a friend and enlist some support.

Do it on your own.

One foot forward. 

No pressure.

Take the step.

The Resoulution

When I take the time to sit and stare out my window of this cold January day, looking at the different ways in which the snow has landed either onto the ground or parts the cedar bushes that surround my house, my thoughts drift. I wonder why it is that during that one night of the year a few weeks ago, as the calendar changes, making a resolution seems to be a compulsion for so many. I wonder how many are turned into an accomplishment and how many become broken.

When I reflect upon the past days and months and what I have gotten done, whether it be work related or of a more personal nature, I conclude that most of my resolves were not made at the end of the year and start of a new one. Things come up, things need to get done. I plan and do as is necessary… I don’t look at the clock or set my schedule to fall on a certain date.

It has been quite some time since I have made a vow in respect to and before the midnight hour on the eve of when old things come to an end and new ones begin. It is not as though I think of these resolutions as a waste of time, and I still like to hear what others plan, but, I don’t know… I don’t quite understand. It almost seems like it is just a big set-up during a time when too much pressure is surrounding the moment.

But when twelve o’clock came and went this new year’s eve/day, saying goodbye to 2016 and hello to 2017, after spending a great night with my family laughing, dancing and singing, my mind came to a thought as it does now. When it comes to the New Year’s Resolution, maybe the key word is not “Resolution”, but instead it is “New”.

It is about starting another BEGINNING.

It is about rising to a CHALLENGE.

But most importantly, I think it is about HOPE.

We all need hope. So whether a resolution is kept, accomplished, or broken, it is about something new. It is about hope and moving forward.

And that… that’s not a bad compulsion.